Sternchan's fanfiction

Any fanfic, fanart, fanvids, etc, etc, goes here.

Re: Sternchan's fanfiction

Postby ObsidianJade » 03 Mar 2010, 13:47

What a great start! Don't you just love Jacob when he's being sneaky? Your writing is also improving rapidly - keep up the excellent work, I'm looking forward to the next installment.
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Re: Sternchan's fanfiction

Postby kygal » 03 Mar 2010, 15:27

I enjoyed your story. Keep it up!
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Re: Sternchan's fanfiction

Postby EHfan » 04 Mar 2010, 10:27

A very interesting beginning. Will be interested to see how the date???? works out.

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Re: Sternchan's fanfiction

Postby rueful2 » 19 Mar 2010, 07:58

Happy Birthday, Sternchan! Have a great day.
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Re: Sternchan's fanfiction

Postby EHfan » 19 Mar 2010, 09:41

Sternchan,

To quote the Beatles "They say it's your birthday. Happy Birthday to you."

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Re: Sternchan's fanfiction

Postby ObsidianJade » 19 Mar 2010, 14:26

Happy birthday, may all of your desires be granted and your coming years bring you happiness.
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Re: Sternchan's fanfiction

Postby Sternchan » 21 Mar 2010, 06:09

Oh, thank you! :D
And here is a little present for you all.


The Party 2

When they arrived at the location, Frank stood at the entrance to greed all of his guest personally. He saw Jacob and smiled.
“Jake, nice to have you here. And who is this wonderful woman?” he asked, because Rachel was looking if there was any danger. Even if she was not on duty she just couldn’t help herself. When she finally looked at the FBI director he said: “Agent Young! You look good! Welcome to my party.” He said surprised.
“Thank you, Sir.” She said and Hood quickly led her inside.
From the first moment on Rachel did not feel good in this surrounding and especially not in her role as Jacobs company. When he offered to get something to drink for both of them she agreed and watched him disappear in the crowd.

“Rachel?”
She turned around. A good looking man made his way to her.
“Seeley Booth! What are you doing here?” she said and smiled.
He drew a face: “I’m only here, because Dr. Brennan was invited.” He said and pointed to a slender brunette woman, who was talking to some people.
Knowing Booth, Rachel smiled: “You begged her to bring you along.”
“Oh, yes.” He confessed: “And besides, she needs me. She can’t drive as good as I, and her social competence is very limited.”
“I know what you mean.”
“Yeah, and please don’t tell me you got an invitation.”
“No, I’m here with Dr. Hood. He is of to get us a drink.”
“Your date?”
“My… partner.”
“Why is it that our beloved director Fuller, invites a lot of Doctors and so on but not his own special Agents?” Booth asked a bit annoyed.
“Well… maybe because he knows, who those Doctors would bring.” Frank said. He had overheard the discussion.
“Oh… good evening, and happy birthday, Sir.” Booth said a bit sheepishly.
“Have fun, Booth.” The director said ant went to some important looking people.

Jacob went to the bar, where a lot of people were waiting for their drinks. He turned around to check on Rachel and saw her talking with a good looking man. That was not good. He pushed himself through the crowd to get the drinks faster.
It only took some more minutes for him to get what he wanted and he was on his way back.
“Rachel, who is your friend?” he asked handing her the glass of Champaign.
“Oh… that’s Special Agent Seeley Booth. Booth this is Dr. Jacob Hood.”
Booth was quick and got Dr. Brennan who immediately started a conversation with Jacob.
Director Fuller had a speech and after that the band started with the dance music. Booth took Brennan to the dancing floor.
“I like him.” Jacob said.
Rachel nodded: “And I did not understand a single word she said.”
“I’m sorry Rachel. Would you like to dance?”
She hesitated: “No.”
“Why not? Come on Rachel, please.”
“Ok. But just one dance”

They ended up dancing four dances. Jacob refused to let Rachel go after the first, but then she started complaining about her hurting feet.
“I’m not a so bad dancer.” Jacob said, as they set outside on a balcony and Rachel rubbed her feed.
“No, you are not. But those shoes… you never go dancing in new shoes.”
He chuckled: “Sorry I thought you would like them.”
“Oh they are wonderful… how did you know my size anyway?”
“I spied on you.” He said with a grin: “Always when you left the room I tried to find out your dress size or shoe size.”
“So you planed on taking me all along.”
“Yeah.”
“And why didn’t you want to take Sandy? I mean, you always called her.”
Now he laughed. “Sandy runs a boutique here. I had to call her and tell what size you wear, she helped me to pick out a dress and shoes. How should I have done that all by myself, while I wasn’t even here. I send her a photo and she suggested red. She really has an eye for colors though.”
Rachel shook her head. She did not believe what he was saying.
“And why didn’t you just ask me to come with you instead of appearing at my door and threaten to kidnap me?”
“That would’ve been no fun.” He grinned, but being Jacob he missed the annoyed and angry undertone.
Rachel took her shoes and left.
The show must go on
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Re: Sternchan's fanfiction

Postby kygal » 21 Mar 2010, 06:40

Happy belated birthday...and thanks for "our" present!!
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Re: Sternchan's fanfiction

Postby anefica » 25 Mar 2010, 21:26

The suspense is killing me .... What happened to Rachel? there will be a third chapter ...
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Re: Sternchan's fanfiction

Postby Sternchan » 08 Apr 2010, 00:40

So much to do and no time :(
I will continue this, I promise. But first I have exam next Tuesday. :( After that I will see, how to end this story.
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Re: Sternchan's fanfiction

Postby Sternchan » 06 Jun 2010, 11:40

Ok. Sorry, I did mean to take so long to finish this. But I really had not much time.
So now: Enjoy :D


The Party 3

Jacob was so surprised by her take of that it took him a moment to decide what to do. He jumped up and went inside. But he could not find her. There were to many people.
“Rachel?!” he called and searched the crowd.
He saw Booth and Brennan talking to Frank and he went over to them.
That was not a good idea, because Brennan was not done with their discussion from earlier. And Jacob was always bad in getting himself out of such situations without Rachel pulling him away. It took him one hour to escape.

By that time Rachel was home, back in her pyjamas and mad with herself. She overreacted and she knew it. But still she tried to justify her behaviour for herself.
‘He could have just ask. No man is knocking on a door and really believes the princess is waiting. I could have another Mr. Shoes around. That would have been embarrassing. I should have another Mr. Shoes around, so Hood realises, that I’m not lonely and despred and waiting for him.’
But the fact was, she didn’t have another Mr. Shoes for a long time and she somehow she WAS waiting for Jacob to take her away from her lonely apartment.
‘Oh Rachel face it, you overreacted.’ She finally admitted to herself. But she still was angry and glad at the same time. Angry because of Hood’s behaviour earlier and herself and happy because she didn’t need to see him for the rest of the weekend.
Suddenly she heard a knock. Knowing who his would be, she didn’t even look up from her ice-crème.

Hood knocked hat Rachels door. No answer.
“Rachel.” He called and knocked again.
“Rachel, I know you are home, I so saw the light.” Still no answer. He tried again, and he planed on knocking the whole night, so she would get no sleep.
“Rachel, open up, please.”
Suddenly a door opened, but it was not Rachel’s door. Her neighbour came out.
“Hey! My kids are trying to sleep.” The man said.
Jacob looked at him. He was big. About Felix’s size and packed with muscles.
“I’m sorry Sir… I didn’t mean…”
“Yeah you didn’t mean… so get the hell out of here.”
“No, I need to talk to Rachel… she…”
The man came closer.
Then Rachel opened the door. Both men looked in her direction.
“I’m sorry he woke you Bruno. I was asleep and didn’t hear his knocking.” She told the man. He smiled and wished them a good night. Jacob followed her into the apartment.
“Good job, Hood. Nearly getting beat up by my neighbour is a nice way of getting accesses to my apartment.”, she said dryly.
“Uhm… Rachel, I’m sorry. I....“
Rachel shook her head. “Let’s just forget it, ok? See you Monday?” she asked softly. She knew she had overreacted.
Hood nodded and to her surprise he kissed her on the cheek. “See you on Monday.” He said and left.
Rachel ran to her window. She couldn’t let him just leave after that. The driver had parked in front of her building and looked up when she called. She gestured to him to leave without Hood. He nodded and got into his car and drove of.
A few minutes later, Rachel opened the door to a very confused looking Jacob.
“Rachel… the driver took of without me, could you call a….” he did nit finish his sentences because Rachel had griped his tie and pulled him inside her apartment.

The End
Last edited by Sternchan on 08 Jun 2010, 00:25, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Sternchan's fanfiction

Postby kygal » 07 Jun 2010, 04:38

So glad you are back! Loved this chapter, hope there will be another one! Loved how Jacob ended up at the neighbors...I could see that.
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Re: Sternchan's fanfiction

Postby Sternchan » 02 Dec 2010, 03:29

I’m so sorry for not being here for such a long time. I hope you are not mad at me. First my marathon vacation (3 weeks Italy and one week New York) and now the last semester in University, and family problems. Somehow I have the feeling that everyone has more time then me. And it took me again so long to be back. :(
But now that Christmas is coming up I have a little more time and I had this idea for so long now… I just wanted to share it.

Oh yes,…. The timeline might not be right but I had to change it a bit for my version of the story. So please forgive me.


A Christmas Carol

Rachel sighed. It was the 24th of December and she was in a strange mood. She had liked Christmas for the most of her time, but ever since her father died two years ago she was sad and miserable.
Today, she set with Hood and Felix on a plane back to Washington, for the holidays.
“Rachel…” Hood began quietly: “Uhm… my sister is giving her Christmas-party tonight, and tomorrow we will have a typical dinner…. Would you like to come?”
There it was. She had feared this question, but known it would come. Ever since they worked together Jacob had invited her. The first time she went was also the first time, she didn’t have Christmas with her father. The year after that he died.
“I’ll be there to.” Felix said cheerfully, he was looking forward to meet Jacobs family.
“Good, then there is no need for an extra agent.” Rachel said, using it for an apology.
“Rachel please. I would love it, if you come. There is always an need for one more.” Jacob said showing his biggest smile.
But Rachel just sighed again and shook her head.

She had taken a connecting flight to California and drove with a rented car to a cabin in the mountains near Alta Sierra. Here she had spend most of her Christmas with her family. It was late in the evening when she finally arrived and got in.
An hour later she sat with a cup of very strong hot spiced wine in front of the fireplace and felt more miserable than ever.
She must have fallen asleep because she woke up to a hard knock on the door.
Drowsily she stood up and walked to open it, and then… her heart almost stooped.
“Dad!”
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Re: Sternchan's fanfiction

Postby EHfan » 02 Dec 2010, 06:50

Sternchan,

Of course we're not mad at you! It sounds as if your real life has been extremely hectic. But I have to admit I've been thinking about you, and others who used to post, recently. I'm glad to see you're back and with a new story for us. (Which I like, by the way.)

Take care,

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Re: Sternchan's fanfiction

Postby Sternchan » 02 Dec 2010, 13:48

Thx for not being mad. I checked the forum a few times, but speaking and reading English is a lot easier then writing. My time was hectic but not always bad (I loved my vacation :D )
Now I’m writing the very last of my tests and renovate the house of my grandparents together with my brother.

I think the next chapter will be up by the weekend. Ever since September I’m also working on another fanfiction. But I have to translate some lyrics for it, and I fear there are to many German idioms in it, so it is not easy to catch the sense of it. :(
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Re: Sternchan's fanfiction

Postby kygal » 02 Dec 2010, 20:39

Great to have you back. Life can be busy at times. Thanks for the fanfic. Cant wait for the next chapter!
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Re: Sternchan's fanfiction

Postby Sternchan » 05 Dec 2010, 04:05

The next chapter :D




„Dad!“
Her father smiled. “Hi Rachel, may I come in?” he asked and without waiting he went right through her.
Rachel was shocked and turned around. First she looked at her father and then on the cup of spiced wine. “I didn’t drink that much.” She said confused.
“You shouldn’t drink that stuff at all.” Her Dad said with a look to the cup.
“You are dead.”
He shrugged: “Well… yes.”
“Am I dead to?”
He smiled: “No. You are very much alive. And would you please close the door? It’s getting cold in here.”
She obeyed. Then she decided that this was not real. She went over to the cup on the table and brought it into the small kitchen. Her father followed silently.
“Would you open the door under the cooker?”, he asked.
Rachel did what he told her and he took a close look at the gas container which was used for cooking. “Ok fine… it’s off. Now we can go.”
“Go?! Where would I go with a ghost?!” Rachel asked now completely confused. This was a dream or some wine caused fantasy.
“To the past, where else?” he seemed a bit disappointed that she did not figure out that by herself: “I’m the Ghost of Christmas Past.” He hold out a hand for her.
She didn’t take it. “This is not a Christmas Carol.” She said dryly.
“Oh, you are wrong, that’s exactly what it is!” he said grabbing her arm and disappeared with her.

Next thing Rachel knew was that she was standing outside the cabin. Like nothing ever happened. Snow was falling down and inside the cabin was a warm light.
“Don’t you want to go in?” a voice asked.
She turned around. Her father was standing there. Anger rose inside her but she took a step towards the cabin and suddenly she already was inside. There was her family. Her father, her mother and herself. They where decorating the Christmas-tree. Rachel smiled.
Her younger self was placing the Star on the top of the tree, supported by her father.
“I remember this Christmas.” She said smiling.
“You do?”, her dead father asked.
“Yes… look I’m wearing the pink dress Mum bought for me.” She said and pointed out to the little girl, who was now playing tag with the younger version of her father.
The man beside her drew a face: “I hated this dress, you wore that almost the howl year…. But it is also the last Christmas you had with your mother.”
Rachel’s smile faded and she looked angry at the ghost. “And why are you showing me this?”
He didn’t answer. Instead the scene chanced and they were standing in the house of Jacobs sister. His nephew Owen (was that his name? I forgot) had fallen asleep on the big armchair. Jacobs sister was in the kitchen and she, Rachel sat together with Jacob on the Couch talking quietly. His sister came out of the kitchen and gave them hot cacao with crème.
“Thank you.” They said.
Rachel smiled to herself.
“You thought this was the perfect family, didn’t you?” her father asked.
She nodded while watching herself and the others. The light in the room was so warm and there was harmony.
“Yeah, but I should have spend that Christmas with you.” She said.
Her father shook his head. “No, I was glad you had some place else to stay. I was on vacation in Florida, remember. And by the way, there was one Christmas I would never forget.” He said and the scene chanced. Rachel saw herself sitting in the corner of her darkened room at home. She was not much older then she hat been, when she had worn her pink dress. The door opened and her father came in.
“You want to come down, to decorate the tree?” he asked softly and somehow…uncertain.
“No.”
“Well… I made your favourite cookies… you want some?”
“No.” she said and turned to look the other direction.
But the grown up Rachel could now see the hurt on her fathers face as he closed the door. She turned to the ghost, who was silently standing by her side. “Dad I’m sorry:” she said.
He just looked at her. “Wake up someone is knocking.”

Rachel woke up by the sound of someone knocking on the cabin door. She looked around. The cup with wine was standing on the table and her father was nowhere to be found. It knocked again and she went to open it.
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Re: Sternchan's fanfiction

Postby EHfan » 05 Dec 2010, 10:21

Very nice Christmas past! And yes, you remembered correctly, Jacob's nephew's name is Owen, his sister is Alex.

I have to say that I am so impressed with your ability to write in a language that is not your own. You're doing a fantastic job with this. I'm looking forward to Christmas Present and Future.

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Re: Sternchan's fanfiction

Postby kygal » 05 Dec 2010, 20:44

A Christmas Carol is one of my faves. Cant wait for the next chapter.
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Re: Sternchan's fanfiction

Postby Sternchan » 12 Dec 2010, 05:16

Thank you, I give my best writing in English. And I think I’m in big trouble. My best friend asked me if I could help him to write a application for a very important internship. I mean, ok, I can write a fanfiction but that’s something totally different. I don’t even know the standards for something like that. So in that case I think my English is not good enough.

Ok, and know the next Chapter.
Enjoy. :D




When Rachel opened the door, there was a woman she did not know. The woman smiled.
“Hi. Are you Rachel Young?” she asked.
Rachel was somehow relieved. For a second she had thought that this would be another ghost.
“Yeah… how can I help you?” she said and looked for the car of this woman.
The woman grinned hold out her hand for Rachel to shake. “I’m Maggie Hood. Nice to meet you.”

When Rachel opened her eyes again she was lying on the floor, the door still open.
“What happened?” she asked herself quietly while getting up.
“Oh, you blacked out. Sorry, I would have put you onto the couch but I am a ghost.” A voice behind her said. Rachel turned around. There she was, Maggie Hood.
“Okay. Where do you want to take me?” Rachel asked wearily and closed the door behind her.
Maggie smiled. “I’m the ghost of Christmas Present and it seems that you already know your miserable Christmas…”, she said and looked around: “…I’ll show you Jacobs.”
And with that, the surrounding disappeared.

They were in Alex’ house and there was music coming from the radio. The first person Rachel saw were Felix and Owen. Felix stormed into the living-room with Owen on his shoulders. The boy laughed and wanted to go fester. Rachel smiled.
Maggie grinned. “He has a lot of positive energy.”
“Of cause, he is a child.”, Rachel said.
“No, I meant Felix.”
“Well, it’s not the right behaviour for an FBI Agent but I think on Christmas it’s ok.”
Maggie didn’t say anything to this but went to the kitchen and Rachel followed her. Jacob and Alex were preparing dinner.
“So, she is not coming?” Rachel heard Alex say as she entered.
Jacob shook his head. “No, I don’t know what to do. She would shoot me if I try to kidnap her and bring her along.”
Alex laughed: “Maybe she would. But please try to bring her next time. I like her and Owen does to. It is just so sad, that she’ll be all alone for Christmas.”
“I wish I could help her.” Jacob said sadly and Rachel felt bad. Then Felix and Owen stormed into the kitchen and the scene went black.
There were only Rachel and Maggie.
“You see, they want you there.”
Rachel sighed: “Maybe, but I would only make their Christmas as miserable as mine.”
“I see, you still haven’t leaned it. Maybe the future is able to teach you.” She said.
And Rachel woke up in the cabin by a knock on the door.
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Re: Sternchan's fanfiction

Postby kygal » 12 Dec 2010, 08:00

I liked it! Cant wait to read what happens next. Hopefully she will join Jacob!
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Re: Sternchan's fanfiction

Postby EHfan » 13 Dec 2010, 07:12

Sternchan,

Really enjoyed this chapter. I like that the ghosts are people with whom Rachel has some kind of connection. Her father as Christmas past, Maggie as Christmas present. In the orginal, Christmas future was a frightening ghost, do you intend to go in that direction? Or will her mom appear as Christmas future?

I also have to say that I loved the line when Rachel wakes up from her faint. "I would have put you on the couch, but I"m a ghost." Very funny.

I'm looking forward to the next chapter. You should consider posting this over on FF.net. The traffic over there is higher than here, and your stories deserve the exposure.

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Re: Sternchan's fanfiction

Postby Sternchan » 14 Dec 2010, 03:04

Hmm… yeah, I’ll post it on fanfiction.net but here first :D :)

Oh, I think the last ghost will a bit frightening… maybe a bit more :) :) It’s going a bit against the true Christmas Carol, but it’s a fanfiction so I think it’s ok.
I’m also considering giving all the shippers a little Christmas present by sending in another ghost in a bonus-chapter. ;)

And thank you kygal and EHfan, I'm so glad you like the story. :D
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Re: Sternchan's fanfiction

Postby EHfan » 14 Dec 2010, 09:29

Sternchan wrote:It’s going a bit against the true Christmas Carol, but it’s a fanfiction so I think it’s ok.

That's the beauty of fanfiction, we get to "correct" the mistakes of the orginals! I have to say that you've piqued my curosity about the next chapter. Can't wait to see what the future has in store for Rachel.
Sternchan wrote:I’m also considering giving all the shippers a little Christmas present by sending in another ghost in a bonus-chapter.

Now that's what I call a Christmas present! A bonus chapter, looking forward to that as well.

Glad that you intend to eventually post on ff.net. It's a cranky site, but it's nice having all th EH fics in one place.

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Re: Sternchan's fanfiction

Postby Sternchan » 15 Dec 2010, 03:35

It knocked again. Rachel knew what would come. She had read A Christmas Carol every year when she was a child.
“Come in!” she called, not seeing why she should get up.
The door opened. And there he was. The death. In the story his face was just a howl in the cowl but this one had his cowl just pulled over his face so she could not see if there was a face or not. She knew she should be scared but being a FBI-Agent and a grown up of the 21st Century she was just kind of bored: “Let me guess: Ghost of Christmas Future?”
He just nodded but didn’t say a thing.
Finally she got up and walked towards him. “Ok where do we go?”
He waved her to follow him and went out. Rachel did what she was told to. She left the cabin… or she tried to, but instead stepping outside she stepped back in without remembering turning around. She was now in the door facing the inside of the cabin and the ghost.
“Wow, nice trick. How did you do that?”, she asked but he did not answer just waved her fully inside.
“Don’t like a good conversation, Nazgul?”, she asked and followed him.
But when she saw what he was now pointing at she could not say another word.
She saw herself sitting on the Couch. There was a lonely candle on the table in front of her and dozens bottles of booze. One of them lay on it’s side and the liquid was all over the table. The Rachel on the Couch looked awful. Black circles under her eyes, messy her and drunk.
The Rachel next to the ghost was shocked. “That’s not me!”, she said.
Then she heard a ring. It came from a mobile-phone on a counter. But the drunk women didn’t seem to care.
Rachel went over and had a look on the ID. It was Jacob. “Why doesn’t she answer?” she asked the ghost but he remained silent. “Why don’t you answer?”, she asked annoyed and had a second look on the phone. There was also a Calendar on the screen. 24th of December 2013.
The ringing continued, but instead of answering the Rachel on the couch pressed her hand over her ears.
“Nazgul! Tell her to answer!”

But then the scene chanced. They were now in Alex house. Felix was there, standing next to window and looking outside. Owen stood next to him.
“Why don’t you want to play with me?”, he asked.
Felix turned to him and Rachel could see the stern look on his face.
“Because FBI-Special-Agents do not play.” He said coldly.
“You need to play with him!” Rachel called but no one heard her.
Alex entered the room. “Muuum! Felix won’t play!”
Alex looked sadly at her son. “Leave him alone, he is angry because Jacob took of without telling him.”
Owen was not ok with that answer: “He didn’t play with me since Rachel quit three years ago.”
“I quit?” Rachel asked and the ghost nodded. “And… where is Jacob?” she was almost afraid to ask.

The scene chanced again and they were outside the cabin. “No!” Rachel screamed. The cabin was on fire. “Is anyone still in there?”, she asked but knew the answer. She, herself, was in there, asleep maybe. The candle must have burned down and ignite the liquid on the table. Rachel watched in horror but it came even worse. She saw a car pulling up in front of the cabin and Jacob jumped outside.
“RACHEL!” he screamed and ran into the cabin.
“NO! NO! JACOB DON’T!” Rachel began to scream and then the howl cabin exploded. The gas-container in the kitchen.
She sank into the snow, sobbing and calling for Jacob. She didn’t care that her future-self was dead but Jacob…
„You…” she heard a voice and turned to the ghost. “… didn’t only get yourself killed but also...“ and he took his cowl off: “…me.”
Rachel’s heart almost stopped. It was Jacob!Da ghost Jacob, his face white like a skull with eyes sunken in deeply.

She started to scream.
And with that she woke up.


XXX

Ok, two more chapters to come :) Just a question: Do I remember correctly that in America the presents will be given on the morning of the 25th of December :?:
Last edited by Sternchan on 15 Dec 2010, 07:18, edited 1 time in total.
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