Sternchan's fanfiction

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Re: Sternchan's fanfiction

Postby kygal » 15 Dec 2010, 05:34

Great chapter. Cant wait for the next one.

You are correct about the Christmas celebration, "santa/presents" exchange usually happens on Dec 25 morning. Some people celebrate on Christmas eve or another day to accomadate family. But Dec 25 is the "norm", so to speak.
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Re: Sternchan's fanfiction

Postby EHfan » 15 Dec 2010, 06:24

Whoa! That was a seriously great chapter! Even with the previous ghosts having a connection to Rachel, I didn't expect this. Very, very good. Looking forward to the next two chapters.

Joyce
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Re: Sternchan's fanfiction

Postby Sternchan » 20 Dec 2010, 09:50

Ok, I really should stop reading and writing English fanfiction, not mention watching English shows. It confuses my family when I answer questions in another language. And then I forget some German words. I had to look ‘Suspicious’ up to remember the German translation.
Anyway, here is next chapter. :D




Rachel jumped of the couch and hurries to her cell-phone. 5am on the 25th of December…. 2010. She was relieved. “Thank god, it’s not to late.”

Two hours later she was at the airport shopping in the duty-free-shop. She had left the cabin in a hurry but not without checking the gas-container.
There were only a few people I the shop. Just some businessmen. One of them walked over to her.
“Hi.”, he said.
Rachel was busy looking at a small fire-engine for children.
“Hi.”, she greeted.
“I’m Ryan, would you like a cup of coffee while waiting for your flight?”
She smiled sweetly at him. “No, thank you Ryan but I think this woman would enjoy it.” She said and pointed to a lonely woman, who was standing near the shop.

On the plane Rachel felt happy. She had watched when Ryan offered the coffee to the woman and she seemed glad about it. ‘Yesterday I was the Grinsh now I’m the spirit of Christmas.’ Rachel thought happily.

Jacob had watched Owen unwrapping his presents. The little boy was so exited that Felix was infected by it. And soon the two of them where playing with his new toys. Alex had disappeared in the kitchen and told him to not go in there. Jacob knew why. He wanted to help but always ended up eating all the crème for the dessert. When he heard a knock on the door he went to open it.
“Rachel.”, he said surprised.
“Merry Christmas.” She said happily. “I brought presents.”, she continued and held up the bags she had in her hands.
Alex had also come to the to see how the visitor was. “Rachel, come in, it’s great to have you here.” She said pulling her into a hug.
“RACHEL!”, Owen screamed running to her.

Half an hour later, Rachel sat next to Jacob, both looking at Felix and Owen. Owen had his new fire-engine, which Rachel hat bought for him. Felix had also got a present it was a matchbox police-car.
“He will never grow up.”, Jacob said laughing.
“Why should he?”, Rachel asked.
“He is an FBI-Agent.”, he said and Rachel realised that he was talking about Felix.
“Yeah and a very good one…. Hood would you promise me something?”, she asked and he looked straight into her eyes.
“Everything.”, he said.
“Never run into a burning house for me, ok?”
He seemed a bit surprised but nodded.

In the evening they had their dinner and after that a cup of eggnog.
Alex eyed Rachel and asked: “Will you stay today? I can fix the second guestroom.”
“Oh yeas Rachel please stay!” Owen begged.
This was a family. “Yes, I’ll stay.”
The show must go on
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Re: Sternchan's fanfiction

Postby EHfan » 20 Dec 2010, 16:10

Sternchan,

Great chapter - nice redemption, Rachel being kind to strangers, realizing that she (like Felix) can be joyful and and still be a good agent. And you better not stop reading/writing English fics! At least not until you've given us the promised bonus chapter!

Joyce
Last edited by EHfan on 21 Dec 2010, 12:08, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Sternchan's fanfiction

Postby kygal » 21 Dec 2010, 05:33

Very enjoyable story. I do hope you continue to write!
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Re: Sternchan's fanfiction

Postby Sternchan » 23 Dec 2010, 10:57

I will not stop writing/reading, but it’s funny when no one understands me at home :D




Last Chapter

In the middle of the night Rachel woke up. She did not know who, but someone was in her room.
“Hello Rachel.”, a soft voice said into the silence and then a woman walked towards her bed.
“Mom?” Rachel asked and her mother nodded.
“I’m very proud of you today and that’s why I want to give you an extra present.”
Rachel smiled, it was nice to hear that her mother was proud.
“Follow me.”

Rachel got out of bed and followed her mother out of the door. They stepped on a snow covered street and Rachel saw a house she did not know.
“What are we doing here?”, she asked.
They went to a window and Rachel looked inside.
“You remember the young man at the airport? That’s him… and her.”
Ryan was in a living-room and the woman from the airport was by his side. Rachel smiled to herself, she really did a good thing today.
“When…?”
“Future, I won’t tell you the year. But that’s not what I wanted to show you.” Her mother aid and the scene chanced. They where in Alex’s house again. It was morning and Rachel saw a young girl, maybe four years old. She was dressed in a pink night-gown and ran down the stairs to the big Christmas tree.
“Mommy! Daddy!”, she called: “Look Santa has been here!”
Two boys followed her. A teenage Owen and a smaller boy which was the twin of the little girl.
Rachel watched the children a while, then Jacob came downstairs.
“Look Daddy!”, the boy called and held a big Teddy in the air, to show him his present.
“He has children.”, Rachel said happily felt somehow sad. Her mother smiled.
Then Rachel saw herself coming down into the living-room, followed by Alex. The little girl jumped up.
“Mommy! Merry Christmas!”, she called and ran into the older Rachel’s arms.
“Merry Christmas.”
“I’m a mother.”, the Rachel next to the fourth ghost said. “The mother of Jacob’s children.”
Her mother nodded: “And a very good one.”
Suddenly they heard a knock and Alex went to open it. She came back and Santa Clause followed her. Rachel saw at the first look that it was Felix in a costume and the children seemed to notice that fact to.
“Uncle Felix!”, they shouted and hugged him.
“I’m Santa.”
“Then you are pretty late, don’t you think?”, Jacob asked and helped Felix with the big sack of presents.
“Ok, I’m not Santa, but he left those at my house and I thought you would like them.”
There was joy and laughter and happiness in the house and Rachel could not stop smiling.

Suddenly she was back in the guestroom with her mother, it was clearly the present.
“Mom, I have another question….” She said and was afraid to ask: “This frightning ghost of the future…”
Her mother just smiled: “He won’t be with the other ghosts for a very long time. I promise. You two will be happy. Trust me.” And with that she was gone.

On the next morning Rachel woke up with the feeling that she had a wonderful live to life and that was the best present she could get.

The End
Merry Christmas
The show must go on
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Re: Sternchan's fanfiction

Postby EHfan » 23 Dec 2010, 19:30

Sternchan,

No one understands me at home either, and we're all talking the same language!

Glad to see that Rachel's mom was a more welcoming Christmas future. It was a nice wrap-up to your Christmas Carol. Liked when you had Felix come in as Santa. Overall - a very nice holiday treat. Thanks for sharing.

And a Merry Christmas to you also.

Joyce
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Re: Sternchan's fanfiction

Postby kygal » 24 Dec 2010, 06:37

Great chapter. I was hoping we would see some more of the future. Merry Christmas!
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